Listening to: Goldfinger, "Too Many Nights"
Well, I rewrote the query, incorporating a bunch of suggestions. In fact, one of the comments in the original critique thread inspired a change in the novel itself. I realized that the "camp" the girls attend is leftover from the original concept, which changed a great deal as I wrote. In the current incarnation, the "camp" is much closer to a summer academy of sorts. I'll be changing the novel to reflect that, as I changed the query letter.
Amazing what happens when your work--or even a short summary of your work--is seen through others' eyes, huh?
On request, I'm posting a link to the newest version, up for critique at Absolute Write. Please, feel free to eviscerate me (over there, of course)! I need all the help I can get.
And while I'm being politely torn to shreds over there, I'm going to get some work done here in Real Life, despite this insane heat. If I haven't melted by tomorrow, I'll be back to update then.
If you don't feel that you are possibly on the edge of humiliating yourself, of losing control of the whole thing, then possibly what you are doing isn't very vital. If you don't feel like you are writing somewhat over your head, why do it? If you don't have some doubt of your authority to tell this story, then you are not trying to tell enough. --John Irving