Monday, August 10

When You Can't Stop

Okay, so the tale of the epic road trip will be continued at a later date.

Why, you ask?

Because there's only one freaking story I'm interested in telling, and that's the one I've been writing for months. This thing has pulled me in so deep that it's practically all I can think about. I'm still fulfilling my normal obligations, even having a social life, but no matter where I am or what I'm doing, I'm thinking about this freaking story.

I wrote until 3:30 a.m. this morning, and even then, I didn't want to stop.

I don't know that I've ever been so wrapped up in telling a story, in finishing it, in seeing the end. Maybe it's because I don't actually know how this one's going to end...yeah, probably. Most of the time, I at least know where I want my characters to end up, even if I don't quite know how to get there. This time I have no clue. It keeps shifting as I write, their fates as changeable as the wind.

Okay, enough with the freaking poetics.

It's almost like reading a book that pulls me in so deep I can't see outside of it, and I reallyreallyreally can't wait to see how it ends. Except, of course, I'M WRITING IT. So I have to work much harder than if I were simply reading a book.

It's almost become an obsession. I say almost because, as I mentioned above, I'm still doing other things. I'm just kinda sorry I have to do them. For instance, tomorrow I'm heading north to my hometown, and I will go to the ol' county fair. I'm excited to hang out with a friend up there, and for us to go around being snarky at everything, as has been our wont since we were little.

But I keep thinking, "I won't have a chance to write. I'll have to stop for like, a whole day!"

Even though I know that, at this point, that's probably best. A long drive, some time away to think, to let everything simmer in my subconscious. When I come back, I'll sit down at the keyboard, and it'll just flow out with no urging from me.

Still, I can't help but feel like a petulant child. It's very hard to resist the urge to stamp my foot, cross my arms, and whine, "But I want to wriiiiiite!"

I'm a grown-up, though. So I won't.*

Okay. Off to write now.

*Except for real quiet-like. *Stamp* *Cross arms* But I want to wriiiiiite!


  1. Hey, I know EXACTLY what you're saying. This is how I always feel about writing. When I was younger, I'd avoid going places because it meant that I would have to leave off writing. My mom would ask me why I didn't want to go and I'd say "Because I need to write." And she'd say "Sweety, you don't HAVE to. Nobody's going to care if you don't." And I'd say "You don't understand mom. I NEED to write because I have to, I, I just have to." It was all the explination I could ever get out. But other writers seem to get it. :)

  2. Oh, yes! You can't stop, but you must. I didn't start writing as early as you did, Grey, but I spent my 20s in a haze of writing and violin playing. When I wasn't doing one, I was pretty much doing the other.

    I'm very absorbed in my time travel historical right now. I'm almost at 20,000 words and I have just tons of story left in me, with all kinds of twists and turns I didn't see 5000 words ago.

    Good luck with the story!

  3. So glad I'm not alone in my sudden antisocial tendencies! I'm really starting to think this day off will be a big help. I got 2000 words in today, but the last 500 or so were rough...and I'm getting pretty tired. A day of fun and silliness at the fair is just what the muse ordered. =)

    And...not to make any promises that I might not be able to keep, but...I might try my hand at my first video-blog. We'll see how much good footage I can get. Very excited about that! And it should take my mind off the book, at least for a few minutes at a time...

  4. Kristy, I love those kind of books. My last one was like that. This one ... could be ... if I wasn't so damn tired!

    And oooooh, video blog. You are so 21st century!!!! lol :-)

  5. Jen, you have a better reason to be tired than any I can think of! =)

    We'll see with the video blog--it depends on how well technology and I get along. This could be anywhere from okay to distastrous. =)

  6. I'm totally waiting for your video blog.

    My cat wants to do a video blog, too...we'll see how that goes.

    I've told him to watch yours and take notes.


  7. I got a like that when I wrote Into This Mind, I didn't like what it did to me.
    I gather you are working on a new story now - or is it the next in the series to Grim Light ;-))??


If you don't feel that you are possibly on the edge of humiliating yourself, of losing control of the whole thing, then possibly what you are doing isn't very vital. If you don't feel like you are writing somewhat over your head, why do it? If you don't have some doubt of your authority to tell this story, then you are not trying to tell enough. --John Irving