I deserve this cup of coffee. I really do. Why, you ask? Well, it's simple.
I worked out.
And not just any workout. Nooo...Tahitian Hip Hop. I got a few workout DVDs, because I really prefer to work out in the privacy of my own home. No one watching, no one looking, I can look as silly as I want. And I bet I looked pretty silly doing that Tahitian stuff. I don't know how those girls do that with their hips. I felt like I was just shaking my fat around.
And people who know me know that I don't have a whole lot of fat, although in the past six months or so, every bit of muscle has degenerated to pure flab (hence the working out). So when I was shaking my hips and popping them back and forth and front and back, I felt every inch of fat on my body shaking and quivering to the beat. Attractive, huh? Yeeaaah.
But--here's the important part--about midway through the DVD, I felt like my abs were being ripped out of my stomach. And I much prefer to feel that way during a fun dance video than while doing boring crunches or sit-ups, or while using some clunky old machine in a gym with 15 people all around, all able to see that I clearly don't know what I'm doing.
I admire people who go to the gym and work out. I really do. But for me--well, just give me a DVD, my living room, and the cat attacking my feet, and I'm good.
On the agenda for today, I need to fill out some job apps and type up a few scenes. Now, I like to do my first draft of each scene by hand...there's something about the feel of putting words on paper that you just can't get with a computer. I like certain paper, and certain pens (Pilot G-2, preferably blue). And I LOVE the feel of forming words...it's a beautiful thing. I know that I waste a lot of paper, but it's the only thing that really works for me.
I've tried writing on the computer. I really have. And then I'll need to look something up, or research something, and before you know it I'm surfing blogs and reading forums and god knows what else. I'm easily distracted, and I'm an excellent procrastinator. Hey, we all have our strong points. Try not to be jealous.
So, if anyone out there finds themselves staring at a blank Word doc, struggling to find the words...grab a notebook and a good pen. Give it a try. Sit outside, or on the couch, or at your dining room table. Just force yourself to write whatever, and see how it works. It's not a cure-all, but it works for me.
Well, I've rambled enough for one morning. I have lots of work to do before my abs start aching and I'm unable to move without screaming.
P.S. Anyone else ever notice that Blogger's spellcheck dictionary doesn't have the word "blog" or "Blogger" in it? There's your daily dose of irony for the day.
If you don't feel that you are possibly on the edge of humiliating yourself, of losing control of the whole thing, then possibly what you are doing isn't very vital. If you don't feel like you are writing somewhat over your head, why do it? If you don't have some doubt of your authority to tell this story, then you are not trying to tell enough. --John Irving