Friday, December 15

Fear and Anxiety in Central Pennsylvania

Updated to add: Immediately after writing this post, I discovered that the phone was off the hook. Why? Because two hours ago, I used it to call my cell phone, which I couldn't find. Guess it wasn't so much hyperbole, after all.

Like a few hundred other aspiring writers across the country, and perhaps a few of our writer neighbors to the north, I am trembling with fear today. I can't concentrate on anything. I find myself reaching the top of the stairs with no idea why I was going up there. I trail off in mid-sentence. I find myself calling my husband by the cat's name. I over-dramatize everything.

Hyperbole aside, today marks the beginning of the bi-annual Crapometer over at Miss Snark's. I've been following her blog for over a year, but this will be the first time my crap has been metered. At 8 pm, I will send out my hook, which has been revised, honed, sharpened, critiqued, and railed at. Time will tell if I get to send anything else to Miss Snark.

It's just one person, an anonymous lit agent, who will read it. Well, her, and a few thousand of her followers and amused readers. I don't even know if she's a real agent...the signs point to yes, but hey, can I trust the Magic 8 ball to verify an agent's identity? Still, I'll hit the send button and cross my fingers as I offer myself for sacrifice. Okay, not myself...my work. It's a scary feeling, though. I've sent queries out, but the worst that can happen there is a rejection that only you will read. This is different. This is public.

So, to all the others who will, today, march up that mountain, douse themselves in gin (horrible waste, I know, but it's symbolic), and light the match...good luck. We're all gonna need it.

-Kristin

3 comments:

  1. Lol, love the hyperbole. I wasn't able to write anything on my novel yesterday because I was obsessing so much over sending in my hook and then waiting and refreshing and waiting and refreshing... I was one of those that sent in around 8:03 so my crap got flushed early on.... I'm still reading em though!

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  2. Hi Kristin, I hope Miss Snark wasn't too harsh! Good for you for sharing and sending it in. It takes guts!

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  3. It'll be a while before I hear anything. I guess the "few hundred" I imagined was actually an underestimate!

    It's actually not so bad. Once I sent it, I just kind of shrugged, 'cuz now all I can do is wait. Kind of like the prisoner waiting for his execution....=)

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If you don't feel that you are possibly on the edge of humiliating yourself, of losing control of the whole thing, then possibly what you are doing isn't very vital. If you don't feel like you are writing somewhat over your head, why do it? If you don't have some doubt of your authority to tell this story, then you are not trying to tell enough. --John Irving