- One of my main characters didn't have a last name. For his first full-name mention, I just called him "Cameron Lastname." The comment linked to this says, "Um...yeah. He needs one." This got especially fun when his parents came on the scene, and it was "Mr. Lastname did this" and "Mrs. Lastname did that" left and right. Find and replace will be my savior on this one.
- A serious NaNoism (read: awful, typo-ridden sentence that you refuse to fix because doing so will decrease your word count): "Our toes, resting at an angle on the porch floot,* pushed back and forth to move the swing gently back and forth." I'll leave you to ponder the beauty of that sentence all on your own, but of course I had to leave a comment for myself, because obviously I might miss such a rotten sentence when editing...
- "She lifted the lid of my old jewelry box, setting off a tinkling rendition of Some Song That Would Play On A Jewelry Box." Really famous song, yo. Bet I've got it in your head now. Of course I had to point this out to myself.
- Next to a truly horrid metaphor, which I refuse to share because it's just. That. Bad.: "Dear lord. Really? REALLY?!"
- I kind of dropped a character for, oh, 50 pages or so, then brought her back out of nowhere. My narrator said, "With all the chaos swirling around my life, I'd completely forgotten about my tenuous alliance with What's-Her-Name." I said: "Or maybe the author completely forgot because she's been dropping plot threads left and right. Who knows. Could go either way."
- Couldn't find the word I was looking for, so just put in a word that I truly hate, "verve". Comment: "AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH this is horrid."
- I unleashed the critic in me on one of my narrator's particularly heartbreaking statements: "Bah. Inane, trite crap."
- When my narrator was cooking breakfast: "Can you tell the author was hungry? Mmm...potatoes." It should be known that I promptly went to the kitchen and made myself some french fries.
- And finally, after I said one thing in three different ways in a single sentence: "Okay, think of about five more ways, because this doesn't slam it over the reader's head quite enough."
*Yes, that typo was in the original sentence--and yes, I left it there.
**This doesn't flow quite right, moron. Geez. Think of another noun you can call yourself. There must be more than one.
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*snicker*
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious, and it is often how any of my first drafts go because I like to fly through them. Get the story on the page and then fix the crap later. I definitely have the song, last name, FIRST name and weird typos comments all over this manuscript. Hey, I couldn't think of the right song at the spur of the moment. Give me time to think about it! Or research it, but I'm too busy trying to watch Buffy episodes to research!
*ahem*
I had a similarly-themed post on Sunday because I was talking in circles for I shudder to think how many words. I also have one place where a character is trying to figure out how to open a secret passageway, succinctly described in prose as: "FIGURE OUT HOW THE HECK GANIX GETS THE DOOR OPEN," followed immediately by him having gotten the door open. Ah, NaNo. Good stuff.
ReplyDeleteso true, oh, so true. hilarious article! thanks for sharing :-)
ReplyDeleteOh, yes. Notes to self can be hilarious to read afterward.
ReplyDeleteJenWriter: It's so good to know I'm not alone!
ReplyDeleteSeD: Great minds think alike! Or is it crazed, NaNo-fied minds? Well, probably both.
Aaron: Glad you liked it. =)
Tia: And it's always fun to sit there cackling like an idiot all by yourself. As I do. Frequently.