There and Back

Listening to: Dispatch, "Two Coins"

Oh. My. Gah--

Yes, that's right. I'm back. Again. I know I have these periods of disappearance, when life gets crazy or I get a bit burnt out on the blogging thing. And you know I do, too. So if you've been patient and awaited my glorious return, thank you. And if you appreciate the sarcasm in that last sentence, DOUBLE thank you.

I'm in a weird mood. Sorry.

Anyhow, my life has been weird and crazy and exhausting and weird and crazy all over again over the past few months. I have no particular news, except that I finished the massive revisions on Grim Light, and I'm getting ready to query. I'm making my usual query spreadsheet, and I somehow managed to write my short synopsis (one page, baby!) in one sitting. Without fiddling with either font of margins, too.

Who's a pro? I'm a pro, kids. Either that, or I've done this crap one too many times. Leaning toward option B.

Now I'm working on the longer synopsis. I think I'll do one page for every 10k words, which will come out to about seven pages. Does that sound right? Someone tell me if that sounds right.

And I think--I think--I've come up with a decent query letter. I'm going to tweak it a bit, and then I'll put it up here for ya'll to poke and prod at, if you wish. Or you can just bask in its glory. You know, whatever.

Maybe I'll do that for Teaser Tuesday, actually.

My problem with queries tends to be that I rewrite them a million times over the course of querying. Tia can attest to that, as she was instrumental in a long, long series of revisions last year. I'm hoping to avoid that this time. If it works, great. If it doesn't, then on to the next book. Whatever.

So I'll be ready to query in the next few weeks. Sooner, hopefully. And I've decided, as part of my new "if it works, great" attitude, that I'm just going to shoot them out ten at a time, every Sunday night. I'll have my querying order all worked out in advance, and I'll just move to the next 10 on the list every Sunday, regardless of responses (or lack thereof). I'm just going to do this and get it over with, because I'm freaking ready. It's been far too long since I started this novel, and I'm tired of it sitting around.

So that's what's going on with me, writing-wise. And you?

The Busy Bee

Listening to: The Hives, "Hate To Say I Told You So"

Why haven't I been around you ask? Oh, I don't know...it could be blog malaise. It could be blogger's block. Or it could be that my life has gotten so freakin' crazy that I can't tell my right hand from my left anymore.

Okay, so I couldn't do that to begin with. Whatever.

Seriously, it seems like I'm spread out all over the place here. I don't mind it so much, though. Let's make a list, so I can feel even more overwhelmed:

• Still querying on Battle of the Hexes. What can I say--I'm slow. I don't have too many agents left to go, but I tend to query when I have the time. Which, lately, hasn't been very often. And for the past month I've been waiting for a query critique on a writer's forum from a pretty awesome agent, who's on my list anyhow. I figured I'd wait and see if I could get some good advice before continuing.
  
  When's the query crit, you ask? TODAY, I answer. Am I nervous, you ask? HELL YES, I answer. Who's the agent, you ask? STOP ASKING QUESTIONS, I answer.
  
  Lesson: query faster for the next one. I think I'll send out ten a week, regardless of when/whether I receive replies. That way I can just get it done and over, instead of dragging out the process for....dear lord. A whole year. Yeesh.
  
• Grim Light is out to some betas, and I've gotten some great feedback. I need to do at least one more round of revisions before I query. I hope to be ready by mid-April.
  
• House-hunting/selling: We just got a storage space, woo! So I have to start packing some junk away so the house looks all uncluttered and spacious when it's showtime. Which, it being spring, will be very soon. What I love about this? I'm going to pack away pictures and knick-knacks and stuff, and then in several months, whenever we finally find and get a house we love, I'll get to unpack them. And it'll be like Christmas! I love that. Yes, I'm weird.
  
  Also, I'm spending this weekend cleaning. That is NOT like Christmas.
  
• Brainstorming for the next one. I expect to start as soon as revisions on Grim Light are completed.
  
• Judging for the Golden Hearts. That took more time than I expected, and was certainly an interesting experience.
  
• Working on my website. Yes, that's right. The blog will be moving as soon as the new website is up and ready. Which, again, I hope to have completed by mid-April, so I can comfortably use the email address that comes with my domain for my e-queries. The website thing is a new-ish arena for me, so it's been slow going. I learn as I go...and I don't go very fast. If I set aside one night a week to work on it, though, I should be done by my deadline.
  
• Work. Oh, that's right. The day job. It's starting to get down to crunch time. As it's just a temporary gig, I expect to be done by June...but I was also supposed to be done last September, and they kept me on. So that is certainly subject to change. I'm surprisingly comfortable with this.

And, aside from family and friends and all the usual stuff, that's my life these days. I think that, once I hit mid-April--and especially once our current project at the day job is done--I'll have more time for blogging.

So...what's been keeping YOU busy these days?

All right, FINE.

All right. I'll come back.

I've been avoiding the blog recently because, well, I just didn't really feel like it. NaNo went south for me (and not in the good, "hey it's warmer down here" way, more like the "this book belongs in a basement somewhere, gathering dust and being eaten by rodents" kinda way). Yes, yes, I know, with NaNo, you're supposed to write badly, that's the point, blah blah blah.

It wasn't the writing itself that was bothering me. It was the plot. Dear lord, the plot. With such a short span of time in which to create it (I'm not an outliner, and never will be), I turned in desperation to overplayed cliches, done-to-death tropes, and plot twists that even a blind man could see coming from a mile away in a thick fog. As I told my husband, "I think I liked this novel better when Dean Koontz wrote it in 1995."*

Bad writing, I can fix. A hopelessly terrible plot...not so much. That would pretty much require scrapping 90% of the novel, and the very idea of putting in all that work only to do it all over again...bah.

My plotting process, such as it is, cannot be successfully completed in 30 days. I need at least six months. I don't know exactly how things work in the cobweb-strewn attic that is my brain, but when I let it do its thing, everything falls into place. If I give myself time to let my subconscious work, to put all the pieces into place without any real conscious effort on my part, then it does the job. Or at least, it makes a somewhat coherent plot structure that uses all the elements I tossed into the first 3/4 of the novel for just that sake. I can't necessarily say it's truly successful, since I remain, as I like to put it, gloriously unpublished.

Example: With Grim Light, a novel I was never sure I could complete from the very beginning, I reached a point of true despair about two days before I finished the book. I looked at everything I'd written so far and saw no way in which to resolve it all, no way for my heroine to get out alive. still truly human, and somewhat happy. No. Way. Whatsoever. So I set the book aside for a few days, struggling with the idea that it may not actually get finished. I didn't wrack my brain, didn't brainstorm--none of that. I just set it aside and brooded.

Then it happened. I sat back down to write, determined to give it my all, and finished the book in one night. I like to use the cooking metaphor: If I let everything simmer for a while on low heat, I get a (to me, at least) wonderful resolution with a few twists and turns that even I didn't see coming. But NaNo...NaNo is like broiling or microwaving. Everything happens very quickly, and there's no time for all the elements to coalesce into a delicious whole.

That's right, people. I'm a freaking Crock Pot.

Anyhow, so, that's that. I will eventually come back to that novel and try again, but it needs some time to sit by itself in the corner and think about what it's done. Then, when it's ready to apologize, maybe we'll talk.

In the meantime, I'm now in the editing and revision stages for Grim Light. Yesterday, I found a massive plot hole--okay, more like an epic failure of logic on my part--that I'm still trying to fix. As a whole, I feel the book will take more than one serious pass to get it to where I want it, but that's nothing new. I hope to be querying by April, though. I'm going to throw myself into this with everything I've got. Because I'm chomping at the bit to start on my next idea, which will be somewhat of a departure for me in terms of setting, theme, and voice. I'm projecting that this novel will take about two years from first page to final edit. It's going to be tricky, but I love the idea and I can't wait to get started.

In a future post, maybe even today, look for website and book recommendations for editing and revising. This should, I hope, be especially helpful to the first time NaNo-ers out there. I know one in particular that I promised this information to, and hopefully others will benefit from it as well.

Because that's what I'm here for, folks. Just here to help. And, you know, whine. It's a strange mixture.

*Don't get me wrong, I'm a big Koontz fan from way back. It's more the "1995" part that is the insult.

Back from the 9-5 grave, and other miscellania...

Well.

I don't even want to look and see how long it's been since I've blogged. I've been a bad little blogger, neglecting my faithful readers and shying guiltily away every time I saw my blog's link in my bookmark bar. Always something else to do, somewhere else to go, something else to write.

But now I've moved to part time at work (at my own request). I have a little more free time, although it never quite feels like enough. So, it gives me great pleasure to announce...I'm baaaaaaaack, baby! I've got new plans to share, new entries on all kinds of subjects (writerly and otherwise), and I'm sure lots of silliness and the general inanity that keeps me from falling into general insanity. 'Cause you know, NaNoWriMo is coming up...should be lots of inanity and insanity there. Fun!

Before we get to all that in the coming weeks, though, I'd like to comment on something that drives me a little crazy. And that is this: the utter shock, or at least eyebrow raising, that comes when someone discovers that--quelle suprise!--girls play video games.

I know, I know. However did they escape from the kitchen?

This annoyance was mostly brought about by two recent articles: This one, by the AP and published by CNN, which is so surprised at females--female teenagers, no less, who haven't known a world without video games--who play video games. So surprised, in fact, that the author feels the need to set that fact apart with em dashes, as seen below:

The survey found that while young Americans don't necessarily play the same thing, nearly all of them -- girls included -- play video games of one kind or another.

Really? Are we so shocked at this? Did no one see this coming? But of course, we have to focus on the fact that the dainty little girls don't like the shoot-em-up, run-around-in-a-virtual-world-collecting-weapons-and-stuff, scream-obscenities-over-the-headset-at-your-gaming-buddies games.* They couldn't possible have found some girls that enjoyed these games, could they? I mean, they certainly don't exist out there in the real world, right? Because, you know, what 75% of a gender likes, the other 25% must enjoy as well.**

Disclosure: I don't much enjoy those games, myself. But that's more because they usually involve some sort of a map and a considerable amount of hand-eye coordination, and I am both spatially and directionally challenged.

Anyhow.

The second article came out a few weeks ago, and really got my feminist meter fuming. "How to Get Your Girlfriend Into Gaming," published by MSNBC. It's about a panel at a gaming expo (Penny Arcade's expo, to be exact) in which many stereotypical, and sometimes just plain demeaning, suggestions were offered. Jezebel*** really said it better than I ever could, so I'll leave it at that.

No, actually, I won't. I'll leave it at this quote from one of the ALL FEMALE members of the panel:

"Ask her to help you spot snipers," said Phillips. "Chicks like flattery. If she feels like she’s helping, then you’re making it a positive experience."

There are no words I can say to combat that kind of patronization. Except this:

When my husband, in 2004, first brought home SSX Tricky, a snowboarding game for the XBox, I idly asked him if I might like it.

"Hm," he said doubtfully. "It might be a little tough for you."****

Well, that was it. I was unemployed at the time, and not writing, so the next day was spent proving him wrong. By the time he came home from work, my snowboarder was kicking some serious powder. And had beat all his high scores.

So maybe the way to get your girlfriend into gaming is to be a jerk and tell her she probably won't be very good at it. Worked for me. Although this probably isn't going to be an issue for vry much longer, since--gasp! shock! dismay! -- girls are already there.


*Or as we call it in my house, "Tuesday evening."
**These statistics are a guess on my part. I'm not actually sure what percentage of teenage female gamers prefer the more violent games, but I'm willing to bet the number would surprise male gamers.
***This site, and it's comments, frequently features NSFW pictures and commentary. If you're easily offended, I would steer clear. I quite enjoy it, though.
****Notice he said, "for you," not "for a girl." I think he was referencing my legendary clumsiness and general lack of coordination. He certainly knew better, by that point in our relationship, to imply that I might be in any way less competent than he due to my gender. Oh, to have more men like him in the world!

Coming Soon

I promise you a great, big, hearty helping of Kristophrenia in the very near future. I've got it all planned out, I just have to actually, you know...write it. Which I will most likely do on Sunday. Because that's the first chance I'm likely to get.

Sorry I've been so very neglectful, of late. Let me tell you this, it's going to be one looooong summer, what with the writing two or three or four different novels, and the working, and the keeping the house clean, and the everything else.

And now I must go to bed, because I have to be up in 5.5 hours and I've already stayed up far too late. It's past midnight, yanno.

When did I get so old?

See you Sunday!

Oops.

I have been horribly remiss. It's been almost a month since I blogged.

Here's what's going on, in short form, because I'm going away for the weekend in a few hours and I still have to shower and pack.

• I wrote an article for Toasted Cheese, which will be posted on the site in mid-July.
• I got a job. Tech writing again, woot. I start Monday. It may only be for the summer, depending on several factors.
• I started a new book. Yes, again. This is the fourth book I've started since I finished the last one. What's wrong with me? Heck if I know. But hopefully, this one will stick.
  
• I gardened a whole bunch. Look for some rose pictures in the next few weeks. That dang thing is gorgeous.
  
• I discovered a wonderful little cafe, which I had no idea existed. It's right next to a wonderful little tea shops where I got my tea leaves read. A wish will be coming true soon, maybe within the next year, if all this stuff can be believed. I used to do this stuff for fun, but then two different palm readers in two different states, two years apart, informed first me and then my husband that we'll be having twins whenever we decide to procreate. So, take that as you wish.

That's about it. No word from the big editor yet. Fingers, toes, and every other cross-able appendage still crossed.

Keep it real, kids. Have a freakin' awesome weekend.

Back Soon

Sorry for the MIA-ness lately. Everything's fine, just was without internet for 9 days, and am still recovering from the shock. Will update further in the next few days.